Merv Griffin’s Crosswords: Poison Cup for the Grandiose

I.
In 2004, I lived with a crossword addict and caught the bug. I looked forward each Thursday for the (now gone) LA Weekly crossword. I rarely finished, but still found it relaxing to try. The person I lived with always finished.
Since then I’ve attempted to do the "easy" "coffee-break" crossword books compiled by Will Shortz. I take much much longer than the target 15 minutes. It’s a foolish goal, but I want to eventually breeze through these. They taunt the newcomer:
Often the subtle pleasures in life are the most rewarding. And as any solver can tell you, a brisk morning, a hot cup of coffee, and a New York Times crossword puzzle can be one of those quietly perfect moments.From the pages of The New York Times comes this brand-new collection of light and easy puzzles… These solver-friendly puzzles allow you to sit back, relax, and lose yourself in a puzzle, all in the span of a coffee break.
Two weeks ago, I receive a phone call to audition for Merv Griffin’s Crosswords. I don’t know how they got my phone number, but I decide to give it a go. I arrive at Tribune Studios in Hollywood on a sweltering Wednesday afternoon and wait in line with ten people. The production assistants shoot polariods of each of us.
